Family

When someone is asked who are the people they love, family members will almost always be named. Most commonly a parent, but quite often a sibling, uncle, aunt, or grandparent will appear too. From my limited exposure to the world, this seems to be the case regardless of culture and creed. Everywhere you go, there is not only this understanding of more or less what a family is, but also that you should love them. I don't believe that anyone is explicitly taught that they should have a family and love them.

A family, typialy, contains an ableistic and temporal hierarchy between a "parent" generation and an "offspring" generation. At the beginning of their lives, the members of the offspring generation are entirely dependent, more often than not on the parent generation. Throughout their upbringing, the parents provide the offspring with more than just care and materialistic provision, but rather with characteristics that differ from parental unit to parental unit. Things like moralistic values, personality traits, arguably even sense of humor. Regardless of genetic predisposition, most commonly aided by the nature of the biological parenthood, these qualities and characteristics are undeniably exposed to and often imbued in the offspring. In this way, the keeping and raising of a family can seem entirely narcissistic, i.e. you only care for others under the condition that they are very much like you, and that their preservation is in essence tantamount to yours. Many a scientific mind would probably explain why so many animals across so many branches of the phylogenetic tree exhibit familial behavior. However, I speak here not of the lions, the wildebeests, and the swans. I speak of humankind. We, with our artificial shells of concrete and bureaucracy have in many ways transcended the need for simple food and shelter, and yet the family is still as integral a part of our civilization as ever. In a the pseudo-welfare state of this country at least, there are many places where one can find the means of physical provision. However, that is not enough. The need for family is more than the needs for physical things.

I firmly believe that within each human being, there are two impulses- an impulse to good and an impulse to evil (a yetzer hatov and yetzer hara, if you will). The impulse to evil thrives in differences and isolation. Consider the atrocities that have been committed when people are divided into "us" and "them", or blended into the camouflage of anonymity. When looking at the differences between another human and you, it's easy to disregard their humanity, and thus easier to no longer treat them the way you otherwise would. Conversely, the impulse to good dwells in seeking those common bonds between all mankind, to realize the fears and loves in tumultuous conflict inside each beating heart. Seeing this is what can make us kind and loving, human and humane. There in the family, is one of the deepest manifestations of this phenomenon. Because the people in our family are often so like us and we are in a position to fully realize that, our impulse to good is obstinately prodded. To look at a family member and their similarities to you is to not only acknowledge their mutual humanity, but to see your humanity in them. What they are, who they are, their dreams and desires, are undeniably commensurate to your own. How then, could you not want to be the best you can possibly be to them? How could you not want to be excellent? How could you not love them? Our families are more than arbitrary groups of people boxed in by societal utilitarianism and expectation. They are the the greatest testament to the human capacity of love that we can possibly find. The love that we want to be offered and offer ourselves is exactly the love that we have a chance to give to those who are the closest to us.